May ... like may this thing get just right the first time and then you right back chasing this skinny boy all over the Washington really big house, all white on the over outside, right?”Jennifer suddenly seemed to quit listening and simply asked, “How long before I die, Doctor Abrams?” Her words cut into my like a chainsaw through a paperback book.Abrams smiled the saddest smile, and said, “Maybe three months unless we going to find us very lucky...”Jennifer slept on the news and then asked me to take her home. We left the day after she met with Doctor Abrams. We called and let him know that Jennifer decided to go home to die, rather than spend her final months sick from the chemicals injected into her body. It was not my place to argue with her. She’d spent her entire life fighting the sickness that had her in its grip. Instead of arguments and counter arguments, it was my place to love her every second of every day until she left me, forever. We slept wrapped around each other all. Tomorrow was going to be the day. If he had to do it over the phone, then he would. If he had to close his eyes in her presence, he would. While Kevin’s head was splitting with both guilt and hang-over, it was all Karen could do to keep her stomach from heaving. Nothing worked, not the cold shower, not the coffee, not the extra sleep or greasy food. All she could do was pop Tylenol and hope she could keep the pills down long enough for them to work. She could still detect the aftertaste of gin through the bile and the dirty tang of smoke that lingered in her throat. Somewhere, she must have secured a cigarette while her husband was up in his business meeting with that curvy young boss of his. For one moment, she grew nervous that her husband saw her smoking (a habit she’d developed of late), but then her stomach cringed and she buried her head in the toilet. Kevin was there to help her, holding her red ponytail out of the porcelain bowl as she dry heaved. She looked at him and.
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